Thursday, March 05, 2009

The 0.0001% Doctrine

In recent comments to the extremist Investigategate magazine Prime Minister Brian John Key said that climate change legislation needs to have flexibility built into it in case "the climate sceptics are right".
It is an interesting proposition to have government legislation written with discredited conspiracy theories in mind.

Perhaps PM John could implement this style of conspiracy aware government into other policy fields. Here are some helpful suggestions to get him started.

  1. Rewrite Kiwisaver legislation for the possible return of Jesus and the ascension of true believers to heaven.
  2. Ask MFAT to develop an action plan in the circumstances that President Obama declares the US to be a Muslim caliphate.
  3. Commision a study into the link between vaccines and autism.
  4. Ask for flexibility surrounding restrictions on the sale of tobacco for the possibility that it does not cause cancer.
  5. Ask the DPMC to investigate links between himself and the Illuminati.
  6. Direct the Civil Avation Authority to create guidelines for the piloting of alien spaceships in NZ airspace.
  7. Do away with regulations on air and water pollution so as to pre-emptively appease the future robot masters of New Zealand.
  8. Investigate links between the consumption of KFC and impotence in Pacific Islanders.
  9. Double the amount of electric lighting in government institutions so as to further dissuade lizard people from taking public office.
  10. Remove fluoride from the public water supply for fear it causes schizophrenia.

1 comment:

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