Three Point Turn

Charity begins at the IRD

2009-03-20T08:11:00.002+13:00

In today's Herald, the Mactional Government are still banging on about widening tax rebates/loopholes for charitable donations.
This despite the fact that studies have shown that for most people, the incentive of a tax rebate is low on their list of reasons for giving.

When in opposition, National made noises about how 'complicated' the tax system is and how it needed to be 'simplified' yet now in Government, they want to add an additional layer of complication of which the net benefit to the country will be close to zero. However companies and individuals will now have new ways to avoid/evade paying tax by claiming rebates for 'gifts' that were going to given anyway or imagined 'gifts in kind' that do not exist except on a filed tax return.

In a rather hamfisted way I did try make this point in a comment at The Standard yesterday, but as is traditional amongst Standardnistas it was ignored in favour of calling people 'fuckwits' and 'pricks'.

Zero Tolerance for ACT's paedophiles

2009-03-19T10:16:00.003+13:00

From today's Christchurch Press

A 60-year-old former teacher and ACT Party general election candidate from North Canterbury has been found guilty on 24 child pornography charges.
Malcolm Albert Spark of Kaiapoi was yesterday remanded in custody after the jury returned guilty verdicts at the end of a three-day trial in the Christchurch District Court. Spark stood for ACT in the 1999 election, winning 584 votes in the Waimakariri seat. He was also on the party list, at No 41.
...
The jury convicted him on all the charges: 10 counts of making an objectionable publication and 14 counts of knowingly possessing an objectionable publication.

The publications related to child sexual exploitation.

The department's case was that Spark had taken part in on-line chats with girls aged from nine to 15 in 2005, which led to him obtaining images which he put with a summary of what he had learned about the girls during the chats.

It seems that in 2005, Mr Spark was already feeling pangs of guilt and wrote a letter to the Press editor in what now appears to be a blatant attempt to justify his own predatory behaviour.

Burning witches?
Sexual fantasy is an area kept mostly out of the public arena. I imagine there are a huge number of sexual fantasy categories of which sex with a child is one.

In order to avoid creating more victims, we need to find out if people who engage in sexual fantasies actually expect to live out those fantasies in real life and if there is any evidence that sexual fantasies are lived out.

If these people actually don't pose a threat, then we need to be very careful we are not burning witches.

Soon digital artists will be able to create photograph quality images of people to satisfy many people's sexual fantasies. When viewing becomes truly victimless, will a crime still be committed?

Finally, are we running the risk of heading towards a society with a new category of police -- thought police?

MALCOLM SPARK Kaiapoi
THE PRESS, 26 FEB 2005, Edition 2, Page 12.

Perturbed by the lack of response to his suggestion of legalising child pornography, Spark tried again the following week.

Why no discussion?
Last week I wrote a letter on sexual fantasies and child pornography under the heading Burning Witches (Feb 26). It is an issue I perceived to be important and I fully expected a large amount of correspondence. To date, apart from two supportive phone calls, there has been no correspondence.

I conclude the subject is of no importance, or it is too frightening for most people to speak up about. If it is the latter, then it is a sad commentary on the state of our free society.

For a society to be truly free, any subject will be able to be discussed openly. The test of freedom comes when the subject is a difficult one. If I am right, in NZ we have still some distance to go before we can consider ourselves part of a free society.

MALCOLM SPARK Kaiapoi
THE PRESS, 5 MAR 2005, Edition 2, Page 12.

Two things we can learn from this,
1) This guy makes David Garrett look like a fine upstanding citizen.
2) If this wannabe-pedophile was ranked #41 on ACT's list, what does that say about those ranked 42 or below?

Show us your Titular Honours!

2009-03-09T16:12:00.001+13:00

The Mactional Government has unleashed it's newest and most futuristic idea yet to turbo-charge New Zealand inc. Bringing back Sirs and Dames!
This is wonderful news for (soon to be) Dame Jenny Shipley, now she'll be able to command a much higher fee to sit on the board of a Chinese bank.

And a note to Allen Stanford, if Antigua ever takes that knighthood back off you, we've got plenty for sale down here in NZ.

Video analysis follows.

The 0.0001% Doctrine

2009-03-05T08:04:00.002+13:00

In recent comments to the extremist Investigategate magazine Prime Minister ~~Brian~~ John Key said that climate change legislation needs to have flexibility built into it in case "the climate sceptics are right".
It is an interesting proposition to have government legislation written with discredited conspiracy theories in mind.

Perhaps PM John could implement this style of conspiracy aware government into other policy fields. Here are some helpful suggestions to get him started.

Rewrite Kiwisaver legislation for the possible return of Jesus and the ascension of true believers to heaven.
Ask MFAT to develop an action plan in the circumstances that President Obama declares the US to be a Muslim caliphate.
Commision a study into the link between vaccines and autism.
Ask for flexibility surrounding restrictions on the sale of tobacco for the possibility that it does not cause cancer.
Ask the DPMC to investigate links between himself and the Illuminati.
Direct the Civil Avation Authority to create guidelines for the piloting of alien spaceships in NZ airspace.
Do away with regulations on air and water pollution so as to pre-emptively appease the future robot masters of New Zealand.
Investigate links between the consumption of KFC and impotence in Pacific Islanders.
Double the amount of electric lighting in government institutions so as to further dissuade lizard people from taking public office.
Remove fluoride from the public water supply for fear it causes schizophrenia.

Live from the Job Summit

2009-02-27T06:45:00.000+13:00

Guilt upon exaggeration

2009-02-23T08:21:00.001+13:00

Guilty upon accusation is a good brand to sell this issue around, however it is just ever so slightly hyperbolic. We have various characters going around saying how "guilty upon accusation" in Section 92A is unfair and not the kiwi way. Yet the Mactional Government recently passed legislation under urgency that allows employees in 'small businesses' to be fired within the first three months with virtually no recourse.
Being fired from a job for no reason, is that not "guilt upon accusation"?
Where is the anger in the NZ wankosphere about this law that comes into effect next week?
There is little outrage about "my rights" and "freedom" around this law since it will mainly affect people on lower wages - the working class (are we still allowed to say that?), not a significant demographic in the NZ blog clique. That's not to say opposing Section 92A is the wrong thing to do, the law is an ass. But it seems people are very choosy and myopic about "rights" and "freedoms" nowadays.

Our Precedent is Black

2009-02-23T08:01:00.001+13:00

The 'controversy' around Section 92A exhibits all the traits of modern ridculousness, the act itself is absurd, as too are the opinions of the media industries that support it. But so too is are some of the protests against it. A strong and forceful message has been sent to the Government by thousands of people changing their profile picture on Facebook and bebo. And twitter as well!!! That will really stick it to them.

And while the Power/Joyce/Finlayson troika are reeling from that killer blow, the NZ wankosphere is going to 'black-out' their webpages for two whole hours!!! Of course you can still access rss feeds and read any new material after the 'protest' is finished. But hey, it's symbolic man, all the wankosphere joining together to deliver a meaningless act of self-expression that will invetiably recieve a meaningless and empty response.

Orewa Resurrection

2009-02-10T11:37:00.000+13:00

Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!

Clint Rickards and John Key BFF?

2009-02-09T15:57:00.000+13:00

At last Wednesday's lunch where John Key announced Mactional's minor changes to business tax policies, among the 400 invited guests was none other than Clint Rickards, the rapist.
It's disgusting the way Rickards has slithered his way back into the system, using ethnicity as part of his defence for his despicable behaviour. But it's not surprising that the old cronies are protecting him, deeming him to be a fit and proper person to practice law and embedding him within the Waipareira Trust. There's probably an expectation that in a few years time we'll all have forgotten about what that "crazy bitch" said about innocent Clint and he can inch his way back up into a position of power. But some of us will never forget what this scumbag did, and his presence at any sort of governmental function other than inside a prison is totally unacceptable.

The idiocy of the "rolling maul"

2009-02-09T13:45:00.002+13:00

Metaphors are funny things, in response to the economic crisis, we've had talk of Obama's Large Stimulatory Package and K-Rudd administering an "amphetamine shot" to the Australian economy.
Yet here in New Zealand we shy away from metaphors evoking the mainlining of hard drugs or large Presidential appendages. As a group of simple folk we prefer more earthy metaphors, be it weather, food, or of course Rugby. John Key's so-called "rolling maul" of "economic initiatives" appears to be the brainchild of a "marketing expert" who thinks that Rugby is synonymous to the national identity of NZ but does not actually follow the sport himself.

The rolling maul is a tactic that in modern times is used occasionally by skilled teams such as the All Blacks. However it is more commonly employed as a "go-to" tactic by distinctly average teams like England or East Coast. This tactic enables a team to achieve far more against superior opposition than they would have otherwise.

Even though NZ has a Rugby team that doesn't rely on the rolling maul to succeed, perhaps Key's metaphor makes sense in the spirit of the "little Kiwi battler", but in that case who are NZ's superior opponents? Our trading partners, Australia and China? Venezula? Iran? The invisible hands of the global economic crisis that are all around us? If so, shouldn't we be playing touch?

But whoever the opposition is, what happens when NZ finally collapses on the line to "score"? Do we get back up? And if so will we revert to the exciting back play NZ is renowned for or will we be forever condemned to playing the economic game in the style of Clive Woodward?

But the main reason John Key's metaphor is so bad is that there are currently experimental rules in international Rugby (ELVs) that include changes specfically designed to counteract the "rolling maul" tactic. The rules allow the defending team to collapse the maul without penalty, thus making the tactic far less useful, especially for a mediocre team like England.

So the "rolling maul" is not only ill suited to NZ's modern style of play, it is ineffective in the new global enviroment. Our "opposition" can collapse the "maul" stranding us far from where we want to be and we lose possession.

In the end, perhaps the "rolling maul" will turn out to be an apt description of his government's approach to the economic crisis though maybe not in the way Key intends.

MSD MIA

2009-01-16T09:37:00.002+13:00

Funny how our new and wonderful Minister of Social Development was not present at the economic summit/meeting/talk-fest of Ministers yesterday. Her ministry is going be taking on massive numbers of new 'clients' in 2009 and MSD programs should be an essential component of any poverty alleviation and economic stimulus measures.
Instead Mactional's 'plan' so far seems to be to funnel taxpayer money through business and cutting public spending in a repeat of the failed trickle-down policies of the past.

New minister pulls plug on costly summit

2009-01-15T07:06:00.003+13:00

An emergency jobs "summit" due to be held by the Prime Minister in February has been axed after Social Development Minister Paula Bennett declared it a waste of money.

Ms Bennett said she was surprised the PM had continued with plans for the conference after his repeated warnings that he wanted careful spending of public money.

"As you can imagine, sipping my tea at 11 o'clock at night reading that made my face turn blue," she said.

"I then suggested quite strongly to the PM that he might like to revisit that in the current economic times. I told him I didn't think the New Zealand public would see this as a good spend."

Change we can believe in

2009-01-13T10:27:00.000+13:00

11/7/96 The Press

New law will ban inefficient appliances

The Government will pull the plug on the sale of some energy-inefficient appliances and electrical equipment.

Energy Minister Doug Kidd yesterday announced new energy-efficiency legislation would be developed that would effectively ban the sale of some categories of electrical products that did not meet new energy efficiency standards.

Standards would initially apply to domestic hot-water cylinders, fluorescent lamps, and fluorescent ballasts for office lighting, but could also be extended to electric motors and domestic refrigerators and freezers after more analysis.

The legislation, which is expected to go before Parliament next year, will not apply to existing installations of appliances and equipment.

Mr Kidd said the new measures would benefit consumers through lower energy costs, benefit the economy through savings to businesses and reduced pressure to construct new energy generation plants, and benefit the environment through reduced carbon dioxide emissions.

Officials have estimated the net national economic benefit of the standards could be as high as $70 million over 15 years. Total carbon dioxide emissions are also expected to be cut by more than one million tonnes over the same period.

Mr Kidd said consumers would still enjoy a wide choice of models from each product type, but the least energy efficient and most obsolete technologies would be ``knocked out of the market''.

Standards would be developed in consultation with manufacturers and suppliers would be given time to dispose of stocks of non-complying products before the new legislation took effect, he said.

2/12/08 NZ Herald

Eco bulbs unlikely to be compulsory - Key

A proposal to phase out incandescent lightbulbs is extremely unlikely to go ahead under the new National Government.

Prime Minister John Key stood by National's policy in opposition against the Labour Government's plan to implement a new standard for lightbulbs, which would see old incandescent lightbulbs phased out by the end of next year.

"We have real concerns about telling people that they have to move to energy efficient light bulbs by decree," he said.

"We want to encourage people to do that, we think there may be benefits for them to do it, but it should be a choice they make as consumers."

Global Peace and Justice are Mossad Agents

2009-01-09T09:45:00.001+13:00

Seriously, that's the only logical explanation I can think of for the way the nutcase left is behaving over the Israeli Government's ongoing war crime in Gaza.
It's an obvious outrage that is dominating news coverage right now. People are angry and have every right to protest, but why do it in such a self defeating fashion? Why smear 'blood' on a memorial to Yitzhak Rabin who was murdered by one of his own people because he sought peace? What is the point of standing outside a tennis tournament demanding penance from a 22 year old tennis player?

The IDF bombed a school in Gaza that was flying the UN flag killing upwards of 40 children, the death toll is now approaching 700. Yet these misguided trivial actions distract focus from the story of what is going on in Gaza and allows those who defend and/or endorse the war crimes to shift the conversation away from the atrocities.

The New Boss

2009-01-03T11:21:00.002+13:00

The Board of Directors have spoken and the new guy is in charge.
An emerging national identity has been put aside to refocus on becoming the best performing subsidiary of Worldwide inc. This new NZ era of managerialism will be fronted by a man from Christchurch who combines the bravado, thick accent and MBA management of pre-9/11 George W Bush with Steve Carrell's character from the US version of The Office.

We Called It!

2008-11-09T09:16:00.003+13:00

Posted in January 2005

John Key?
Now this is who I want. The 'Great White Hope', along with Simon Power and Katherine Rich, he is the future of the National Party, he has the qualities, integrity and 'X' factor needed to lead NZ in the right direction, and less importantly, he's the cutest National MP by far. I'd like to see Katherine Rich as deputy, but realistically I doubt that will happen. I must confess that although my support for him is probably influenced by the $500 bet I made in 2002 that he would be the next National Prime Minister, it is sincere and genuine support.

Who is John Key? Part II: John Key is Barack Obama

2008-03-06T18:10:00.000+13:00

Nominated by Chris Trotter and Peter Dunne

AYE
Barack Obama and Key both share English as a first language.

Both were born on a Pacific island, within four days of each other, so they could conceivably be twins.

Obama's middle name is "Hussein". John Key's middle name is "Putin"

Current opponent is a polarising female career politician with the initials "HC"

Obama has run on a message of change. John Key is a candidate of change.

NAY
Obama's election slogan is Hope. Action. Change.
John Key's slogan is I'm. Not. Helen Clark.

John Key is not a muslim.

Obama possesses oratory skills and charisma rarely seen in a modern political leader.
John Key has a classical tory lisp and the finest oratory skills since Don Brash.

Michelle Obama is a far more attractive "Dick Cheney" than Bill English.

Our verdict: No. if a comparision with an American Democratic canididate is really necessary, try John Kerry. "I was against the repeal of Section 59, before I voted for it, but when I'm charge I'm going to repeal it"

Who is John Key? Part 1

2008-03-03T15:34:00.007+13:00

In the first of a possibly 300-part series, we examine the toughest question the media are asking of the National Party this year.
Just who is John Key?

As Key is seemingly absent of any discernible personality or policy, perhaps it would be more fun to use figures from popular culture to characterise this otherwise dull & uninspiring politician.

Don Brash's alternating characters of Mr Magoo & Montgomery Burns worked well for Labour three years ago and to win in 2008, an effective character needs be selected for Key.

Unfortunately the character Labour have created for Key thus far is "a vacuous rich-prick who is a incompetent fool and out of his depth and also a hollow man with a secret right-wing agenda to 'loot the state' for his rich anonymous donors."
This character is so contradictory and would really only be believable in the confines of a bad soap opera or US presidential politics.

National's 'positive' characterisation of Key as "Mr. Ambitious" however is just as ineffective, being two-dimensional and with only a little more depth than the real thing.

The deafening yawn

2008-02-25T11:24:00.007+13:00

At the Labour Party's unofficial blog they allege corporate right wing media bias is afoot because of the 'deafening silence' about a speech given by John Key two months ago.

After all, both Labour & the EPMU (who have "no connection to the Labour Party") issued press releases about what Key said at a high-powered meeting with the Kerikeri District Business Association just before Christmas.

Surely this should be front-page news in mid-Feburary?

Or maybe there's a 'deafening silence' because it's such a obviously coordinated attempt at a diversion from the Owen Glenn saga.

If National-Lite had any spine, they would stand up and shine the light back on National's anonymous funders.
But it seems Labour's winning election strategy is to shy away from the issue and look like they have something to hide..

The height of this ridiculousnesses with the PM not shaking Owen Glenn's hand at the opening of the Auckland Business School he paid for!

Why is the PM of New Zealand kowtowing to a bunch of journalists who spend too much time reading kiwiblog?
A guy openly bankrolls your party and your former university's business school, and you reward him by chaining him to Mad Dog Mallard?
Fuck them, you're the fucking Prime Minister, shake his fucking hand and smile like you mean it.

It makes for a marked contrast between the two party leaders, Our Great Leader Helen does want to be seen with a businessman that has made millions of dollars of donations to her and the country, and yet John Key will hold hands with the head of a Maori Mafioso and hongi with a dodgy activist awaiting trial on firearms offenses.

Extreme naivety vs Hardened cynicism, what a choice we have this year.

Headline with a pun based on the word poll

2008-02-23T08:28:00.003+13:00

Another bad poll for Labour in the Dom Post today. National with a sizable 23-point lead.
I must take issue with the analysis of the results though.

One in four of National's support base have switched to the party this year. That suggests Mr Key easily won the early election year jousting - at Waitangi, over boot camps for young offenders in his state of the nation speech, and at the opening of Parliament.

Or maybe INTEREST FREE STUDENT LOANS AND RETAINING KIWISAVER.

No, of course, the rise in voter support has be as a result of the narrative our serious and well-respected journalists create. Silly voters don't care about saving or earning thousands of dollars in interest over a lifetime, what they care about is Tame Iti, boot camps and the 20 seconds of John Key's opening day speech they saw on the news.

The DomPost also claims "The plunge in her support is likely to spark speculation of a leadership coup." (against Helen Clark)
Why?
Her preferred PM rating is 29%, her party's is at 32%, A difference of just three points, yet National is the preferred party of 55% in this poll, while Key only has 44% support for preferred PM, a difference of 11 points.

Labour have a lot of 'issues' to resolve this year, but Clark's leadership is definitely not one of them.

Sensing Donors

2008-02-20T10:40:00.001+13:00

Today on her blog at the National Herald, Audrey Young pondered "Was NZ First's mystery donation from Glenn too?"
This suggestion was based on the facts that NZ First received an anonymous donation of an unknown amount last year and Owen Glenn has donated money to political parties in the past and denied donating to NZ First.

In the world of the new media that's more than enough information to run with a story, after all what other possible conclusion could one make by looking at those two facts in isolation?

Though to be sure no-one thought she was lacking in journalistic ethics Young cautioned that

It is important to get fuller disclosure on this, not least to ensure that mud does not stick where it is not warranted.

Having unwarranted mud thrown about would be a terrible thing, so naturally as a responsible mainstream media outlet the Herald exercised restraint by making it the main headline on it's website for the afternoon.

Hilariously, later in the day, Winston Peters (in Africa), furiously denied the suggestion of a Glenn-NZ First donation to TVNZ's Espiner the Boy Wonder. Young later graciously accepted Winston's denial on her blog and said it was 'unfortunate that this may not be cleared up in a hurry' as Peters is not back in NZ until Saturday.

She's right of course, it was unfortunate and perhaps even inconsiderate of Winston to be out of the country, asleep and not available for comment while a senior journalist interviewed her keyboard about his activities.
There is a real story in there somewhere, after all Owen Glenn hasn't denied donating to NZ First nor has he denied that he has stopped beating his wife.

New Zealand's mostly widely read newspaper now has the less credibility than that of New Zealand's most popular blog. At least David Farrar has a disclosure statement.

The Bastardisation of Kiwisaver

2008-02-19T21:09:00.002+13:00

The mysterious 'Superpoints' brand was launched at the A1GP in Taupo recently, many a puzzled spectator wondered what the product was. A visit to their website gave little away.

It's seems 'Superpoints' is a new customer loyalty scheme, that will piggyback on Kiwisaver accounts.

Every New Zealand home will receive SuperPoints cards and an information pack in the mail.
SuperPoints is a new type of customer card designed to help all New Zealanders take advantage of earning points from a lifetime of shopping. These points get converted to cash and added to the fund, to help grow your money on top of the $1,000 kick-start from the Government to start your personal super fund for when you retire. Your points never expire. Over time funds will compound and can grow into thousands of dollars for retirement at age 65. The funds are held by Guardian Trust and advised by New Zealand's most expert and well-established organisations.

SuperPoints gives the opportunity to make voluntary contributions into the fund whenever people choose. This is done through technology that will be available in any shop displaying the SuperPoints sign.

The first step to financial freedom is collecting the free $1,000 kickstart, thanks to the combination of the SuperPoints card and KiwiSaver.

This just seems crazy.

Should taxpayer's money in the form of $1000 Kiwisaver 'kick-start' be used to gain market share from FlyBuys and other customer loyalty schemes?

Is it really fair that workers currently in a kiwisaver scheme are forced to save 4% of their income to get the $1,000 bonus, while non-workers will seemingly be able to access the $1,000 through a customer loyalty scheme.

And is this a Labour Party election-year ~~bribe~~ initiative ?

Or maybe there's a misunderstanding on my part about Kiwisaver, which I thought was meant to be a voluntary retirement saving scheme for working New Zealanders with contributions from the employee, the employer and the state, not a (partially) tax-payer funded customer loyalty program designed to get people to buy more crap at the petrol station.

Karma Keymeleon

2008-02-05T17:00:00.000+13:00

There seems to be no limit to what John Key will say and do to form a government, not even insane photo opportunities like this

The way he's clenching The Godmother Titewhai Harawira's hand as if it was that of his own kin, seems eerily reminiscent of George W Bush's overly-enthusiastic hand-holding with Saudi Prince Abdullah

But if that's not enough to question Key's judgment with, there's this,

What the fuck is he thinking?

Seemingly an unholy National-Maori Party Coalition.
Crazy fucking times ahead.

Labour 1, National 2 aet

2008-01-31T22:09:00.000+13:00

National has made another step towards becoming part of mainstream New Zealand by adopting Labour's policy for interest-free student loans.
This will mean the thousands of people who have a student loan can vote for a change in government knowing they aren't going to get fucked over by their loan in the future.
So why are National trying to bury it with 'dead rat' spin at a junket in Rotovegas?

Later this year Labour will have no shame when it comes to trumpeting their newly found love of personal tax cuts even though they are ideologically opposed to it.
If National's reasoning is because "we lost the last election" then why not just adopt all of Labour's policies and invite Our Great Leader Helen to take over a grand coalition and become PM for Life, and Honest John can go back to buying ghastly houses.

This policy will win National far more votes than that 'boot camp' garbage, all we voters ask is a little bit of (fake) sincerity when selling it, be happy about it!, it's your damn policy, you can always blame Brash/~~English,~~/Shipley/Richardson for the past.

CommunoFascism a GoGo

2008-01-31T10:46:00.000+13:00

This blog has now achieved official political hermaphrodite status.

According the Labour Party's unofficial blog the Standard, we are of the right-wing persuasion, or as we like to call it - 'fascists', but now the ultimate arbitrator of NZ-blog political alignments, National's dpf has deemed us to be on the 'left' or rather, 'communists'.

Being listed as political opposites of National.co.nz & Labour.com can only mean one thing, we are the NZ Blog-Clique's Peter Dunne.

Clark 1, Key 0.

2008-01-30T10:10:00.000+13:00

The 2008 election wrestling season is underway after Honest John Key and Our Great Leader Helen gave 'state of the nation' speeches on successive days, and result is John Key and National still don't look ready to govern.

'Boot Camps' (although that's not how Key described them in his speech) is a tired old idea that is more suitable as the centerpiece of Winston First's election campaign than that of a potential governing party.
In Germany, a teenager was sent to an outsourced 'boot camp' in Siberia as it was a far cheaper option, perhaps Key could work out a deal with a struggling Pacific Island economy to run 'boot camps' there, in a similar way to which John Howard used Nauru to imprison asylum seekers.

Giving a 'discount' or 'voucher' for tertiary education to school drop-outs is a little insulting to the majority of students who work through the secondary school system and then face massive fees at the tertiary level. It gives the perception of being rewarded for bad behavior. The proposed system also seems easily open to corruption and unaccountability despite Key's assurances otherwise.

Labour's proposal on the other hand seems far more inclusive and perhaps even 'ambitious', rather than being an ambulance at the bottom of a cliff, an integrated apprenticeship system can engage the students before they get frustrated and drop out of the system, and of course it will help a large number of trade students, the vast majority of whom are not 'trouble-makers' and would not benefit under National's policy.

Which is the actual better policy for New Zealand means little compared to the reaction of the general public and the influence it has on the election, but I think Key's policy needed a bit more oomph to keep it in the minds of the average voter, perhaps packaging it with a populist issue like raising the drinking age to 20 would have worked better.

The funny thing is even if National wins the election, they'll end up implementing this Labour policy on apprenticeships in some form anyway.

States of the Nationses

2008-01-29T07:57:00.000+13:00

John Key is due to deliver his "Orewa" State of the Nation speech today, shortly afterwards America's Greatest President GW Bush will deliver his, one would hope, final State of the Union address.
Now if you're John Key do you really want to invite a comparison with GW Bush?

Key is rumoured to be speaking about the massive problem of there only being 8400 under 18 year-olds not in work, education or training, apparently the problem with early school-leavers was a lack of incentive, so now with the offer of 'subsided' tertiary education, which they would otherwise have to pay 'full-price' for at age 18, they have more reason to get out of our schools early and help National raise our local school's NCEA achievement levels.

Apart from this tiny fragment of policy, one would hope there will be something interesting or at the very least inflammatory in today's Key speech, however from what we have seen so far, the pre-election campaign of "Mr. Ambitious" appears to be anything but.

Great moments in APN sub-editing #745

2008-01-28T11:18:00.000+13:00

Though to be fair, when you're as old and crotchety as Granny Herald, everybody seems like a teenager.

McDonald's Kaitaia scores PR own-goal

2008-01-19T11:45:00.000+13:00

McDonald's Kaitaia have won a gagging order against a former employee ordering him shut down his blog that discussed issues at his workplace.

Two offending posts were removed from the blog and the former employee is to "refrain from making any written statements or posting any information on digital media about McDonald's, or any of its staff", because there could be nothing more harmful to a large corporation than a badly written ramble by a former low-level employee.

However the offending blog posts were archived on technorati and have been reproduced on a blogger site here - McDonalds Kaitaia Blog
So congratulations McDonalds Kaitaia you have now ensured that more people will read the "offensive material" than ever would have otherwise and in the process damaged your reputation more than your former employee's misspelt words ever could have.

A Murder on Facebook

2008-01-11T10:30:00.000+13:00

I hate Facebook, I really do, however it seems to be becoming the default opt-in electronic surveillance system for the 20+ demographic. There are some privacy restrictions, however many people are either too vain or naive to understand that anyone in their "Network" (i.e the entire country) can look at their personal details.

The young Otago university graduate who was murdered by her former boyfriend two days ago had a 'open' facebook account, and the print media has not hesitated to browse her personal photo albums there to find suitably poignant pictures for their stories.

From the news reports about the 10 year age difference between the psycho ex-boyfriend and his victim and the personal photos on the victim's facebook page, we can deduce the probable identity of the murderer despite there being an interim name suppression order, although this was probably just for the benefit of the killer's employer who are quickly removing any trace of him from the internet.

The victim's facebook profile now remains permanently open on the internet for everyone to see, the genuine optimism of her young life frozen in time, along with the unfortunate choice of superpoke made a couple of months earlier by her eventual killer.
If anything can be learned from the aftermath of this horrible event, it's that people need to check the privacy setting on their facebook profiles to ensure they are not publicly accessible

If you come to an unforeseen ending do you really want any and everybody looking through everything you've ever posted on that site, and some jackasses publishing your personal photographs in a newspaper or linking to your personal details from their lame blog?

Only in Amer..... Canada?

2008-01-10T15:29:00.000+13:00

P addict successfully sues dealer for drug overdose

The 21st Century's Franz Ferdinand

2007-12-28T08:57:00.000+13:00

Just saying.

More dumb billboards

2007-12-19T23:17:00.000+13:00

It's like 2005 all over again.....

Coal in Labour's Christmas stocking

2007-12-16T22:15:00.000+13:00

The TVNZ & TV3 polls represent another toweling for Labour as they burn off more soft voters inching closer to just the 30% 'hardcore' base, whose politics while dissimilar from loyal Bushies, their loyalty is not.

It is a little annoying to see both TV3 & One shrilly decree that the Greens are in trouble with 4.8 & 4.6 in their polls, while neglecting to mention the common trend of third parties to poll lower outside an election year. TV3 even stated that the last time the Greens polled under 5% was 3 years ago, one year out from an election.
The Green vote should strengthen in 2008 especially if the perception of a losing Labour Party sets in.

To get his party over 50% all John Key has had to do is sit back and watch Labour implode under the weight of it's own stupidity.
At least Don Brash's poll surges came on the back of policy announcements to bash Maori, cut taxes and get rid of that "PC jibber-jabber".

If Labour stopped obsessing over regulating the Exclusive Brethren's ineffectual pamphlets and forced National to say what they would do better, they could reverse this trend.
There's a real possibility that National could gain power without having to state it's policies.
Recent examples in 1984 & 1990 didn't turn out so well.

TVNZ poll will be 'superbad' for Labour

2007-12-14T08:13:00.000+13:00

I heard yesteday that the opinion poll TVNZ is releasing in the weekend looks really bad for Labour. The poll was conducted over the past week or so, right in the middle of the EFB debacle.

It will be interesting to see just how much more soft support Labour have lost, and how close they are getting to 30% and just the 'hardcore' supporters.

Perhaps this poll along with their own (bad) internal polling might give Labour pause for a rethink and come up with some sort of face-saving compromise before the EFB vote on Tuesday.
Yeah Right.

Sincerely Trevor

2007-12-12T07:48:00.000+13:00

Previously unaired NZ Post TV commercial with our boy Trevor Mallard.

This Charming Man

2007-12-10T22:10:00.000+13:00

Clint Rickards is a Class A scumbag, not that that is news to anyone, but he plumbs new depths with his interview with new BFF Willie Jackson.

Rickards claims he was the scapegoat of "the women" in the Labour government and a 'sick' woman manipulated by the Pakeha media, a woman so 'sick', he had to have sex with her.
So familar story with Rickards, bullshit bullshit and more bullshit.

Later in the interview Willie Jackson tries to make it into a race issue, so Rickards - Maori - gets off virtually scot-free with a pay out while his Pakeha buddies Dewar, Schollum & Shipton rot in jail, and Willie still has the chutzpah to wheel out "Is it coz i iz black?" for his buddy Clint.

Maybe with all the offenders involved being men and all of the known victims being women, gender could have had more to do with it than ethnicity.
Nah, that's just being silly.

John Key, Puppy Strangler

2007-12-10T15:15:00.000+13:00

If the John Key obsession at The Standard is any indication, it seems Labour's 2008 election theme will be
John Key is a rich weirdo who's going retrospectively invade Iraq and sell off our schools to the Exclusive Brethren and our roads, hospitals and prisons to the Americans.

And you'll never believe this, Key is such a freak he has a picture of a fossilised seal on his flickr page!

And this comes after Key's nefarious scheme to deprive Coldplay of their royalties came unstuck thanks to the power of the blogosphere™ or rather, a print journalist and a law firm.

And then he had the nerve to call Labour's Ginger Spice Darren Hughes, "the son Helen Clark never had", which had the Standard recoiling in horror at the mention of 'son' and 'Helen Clark' in the same sentence.
Although to be fair that comment was inappropriate as children aren't normally fitted with a leash nor bark on command. And Darren is a very good boy, ohyesheis.

And don't forget John Key sniffed some fruit, call in the freak police!
Key's obviously such a rich prick, that he's never had to purchase vegetables for himself in his life. But if our great leader Helen had done it, it would be evidence of her being fully informed before making a decision.

If this is the approach Labour is going to take in next year's election campaign they'd be better off conceding now and preparing for 2011.

Mangere, NZ's Bible Belt?

2007-12-09T21:25:00.000+13:00

The destiny church is setting it's sights on Mangere as the anchor seat for it's "Family" Party.
I dunno about you, but if I was trying to jump-start the Christian Right revolution at the ballot box, I wouldn't target the seat with the largest Labour majority.
They may only need more than an 1000 percent increase in vote but I don't think even a messiah named Brian could pull this off. (Someone called Karl on the other hand..)
Prime News reported that the opening rally in a Mangere carpark attracted almost 100 people so it looks like the self-proclaimed Bishop has work cut out for him.

Maybe this shiny new logo will make the difference, I'm sure choosing almost the exact same shade of orange as the Electoral Commission uses in all it's election materials was purely unintentional.

Bill Ralston. Former Journalist.

2007-12-09T17:39:00.000+13:00

I know Bill Ralston is no longer a journalist and doesn't need to check facts, but really...

The weird thing is that Australia should not be that much richer than New Zealand but it is. Yes, it has the luxury of sitting on top of a rich pile of minerals but New Zealand actually earns more from its humble farms than Australia makes from mining.

I thought that couldn't possibly be true and typing three words into a search engine proved it.

Mining makes up 5.6% of Australia's GDP - ($645 - $789 billion depending on which estimates you choose)

Depending on how broad your definition of 'humble farms' is, NZ's agriculture sector accounts for between 4.3% - 16% of NZ's GDP ($100-$115 billion depending on which estimates you choose)

Even when using the most favorable (and wrong) statistics and definitions, Australia's mining industry still bests NZ's agriculture industry $32 billion to $18 billion.

Kahui Twins - Spin & Win!

2006-06-25T15:01:00.000+12:00

Sure, we may not know any or all of the facts surrounding the deaths of the Kahui twins, but don't let that stop you passing judgement on the root cause of the tragedy.

And now it's even easier with threepointturn's infant death Spin & Win Wheel, just print it out and spin to make a selection from one of the outlandish or bigoted viewpoints you want to push.

Now just like Michael Laws, Christine Rankin and John Tamihere you too can spin the deaths of two babies into a positive for your own political agenda.

ON NOTICE: Herald on Sunday

2006-04-10T11:22:00.000+12:00

Herald on Sunday you are ON NOTICE! (note the bold font)
They have "outed" an alleged tinnie house in South Auckland that just happened to be next door to a Labour MP's office!

It's not right, Liberal MSM like the HoS should be saluting the courage of the Labour Government for steadfastly sticking to it's policy of doing sweet fuck all for poorer communities in NZ, which has led to record growth of small businesses like scam tertiary courses, quasi-casino bars and loan sharks and which is good for the economy™

Although a single Herald on Story story makes no real difference it could be the start of a trend that could impact the profitability of small businesses in the community and hurt the economy™

I think it's grossly unfair to expect that a Labour MP be aware of what is going on in his own community. They won, they are the government, their way of doing things is best.

So back off Herald on Sunday and leave Labour alone!
By publishing the address you've got the tinnie house busted good and proper, be happy with that.
I hope that'll teach the bastards for giving that Herald staffer a crappy foil last time.

The Shitwind Blows

2006-04-07T06:50:00.000+12:00

There's been a bit of heat generated from the earlier posting of the Louise Nicholas leaflet because it is arguably 'illegal' and could jeopardise the future possibility of a 'fair' trial for already convicted police rapists.

Indeed, a few gentlemen have emailed me with suppressed information explaining just why that image shouldn't be posted and that I am breaking the law. Of course they themselves broke the law by emailing me this information. One man even suggested I was as bad as the rapists themselves by publically revealing this information.

I think this comment from another blog shows the line in the sand for me on the issue of suppression orders and 'respect' for the law.

"The morality of such an order is irrelevant, it is the legality that counts."

I understand that point of view, in fact society would fall apart if immoral people had no fear of the law, but to me it seems like a robotic non-human way of thinking.
I would reverse that statement - morality is what counts - it is a far better guide to life than statute books for decent human beings.

Imagine being a homosexual man prior to 1984 -
"Well, the law states that homosexuality is illegal, so therefore, I will stop being gay because it's the law!"

On the few occasions my morality conflicts with the law a bit of risk/cost/benefit analysis begins, for instance smoking cannabis, it is illegal under the law, but to me it is not immoral, and as I have white skin the biggest punishment I would realistically face under NZ's legal system is police diversion. So I happily smoke cannabis.

However in this case of name suppression of the convicted rapists, the 'unintended consequences' could be far greater than a theoretical legal punishment I could suffer,

The spin is that these name suppression 'violations' on the internet and leaflets handed out on the street could cause the judiciary to declare the next rape 'show trial' a mistrial before it has even begun, and I have been told this 'will let the rapists get away with it' - er, newsflash, Clint Rickards already has.

Remember these 'show trials' came from the police decision to derail a potentially devastating and far-reaching Commission of Inquiry into Police Conduct by launching "investigations" into a few select historic rape cases that they had attempted to sweep under the carpet for nearly 2 decades.

In the unlikely event a mistrial was declared due to the publication of known facts there would be again be further 'unintended consequences' - mass public outrage even more intense then it is presently which in turn would force the Government to renew and strengthen the Commission of Inquiry into Police Conduct over the cover-ups of these historical rape allegations which far outnumber those currently awaiting trial. Focusing not only on the rapists but on those who have helped protect the rapists by destroying and "losing" evidence, intimidating victims and forging documents.

Of course, to get an inquiry into the police cover-up of her own case is why Louise Nicholas went public with her story in the first place.

This is a risk involved in handing out those leaflets, I believe the right for the public at large to know about what is happening in their legal system outweighs the tiny risk of a mistrial.
Morally, it's the right thing to do.

Legalities aside, I do find it apt that the same persons willing to publish highly offensive and derogatory pictures of religious figures engaged in sexual acts purely for the purpose of causing offence (what I would call a immoral act however not against 'the law') are the same persons condemning others for publishing suppressed and important facts about the identities of convicted rapists.

What a sad world we live in, where legal argument trumps morality at every turn.

It is illegal to view this post

2006-04-05T10:23:00.000+12:00

It is against the law for us to allow NZ readers to view this image of the now infamous Louise Nicholas leaflet (hosted on an American server), so if you live in NZ please don't look at it!

ON NOTICE: Mark Sainsbury

2006-04-05T10:16:00.000+12:00

Mark Sainsbury - On notice due to his continuing 'showing up' of Susan Wood

Susan Wood (and her lawyers) have worked unbelievably hard to get her into the postion she squats today. The #1 presenter on the #1 7pm Lifestyle infotainment show in the country.

It was decided in the Employment Court that she is worthy of the highest salary for a broadcaster at the state broadcaster and therefore by definition she has to be the best talent TVNZ have.

Mark Sainsbury may have his populist awards and rapport with the viewers at home,
He may indeed be both the eggman and the walrus but that doesn't matter where it counts in the news media, the bottom line, the $$$$, the cream, you Sainsbury, on the every third day and every third week Wood has off, you need to back off with the interesting interviews and 'analysing' things. Stop making the step-mother of the nation look bad!!!

So, Sainsbury get out from behind that desk, take off the shoes and the suit and interview your subjects while lying on a bed, and remember to ask the questions the people want answers to like "How did that feel" - The audience are not interested in trivial things like 'Facts'

And Sainsbury,
If Susan Wood yells or even raises her voice at her children at any point in 2006 you Mark Sainsbury will be held personally responsible and immediately become 'Dead to me' (or us)

ON NOTICE: Liberal Mainstream Media

2006-04-05T10:06:00.000+12:00

Liberal Mainstream Media - The 'liberal MSM' are purveyors of everything negative in society, whenever I find out someone has died or something bad has happened inevitably I see, hear or read about it in 'the liberal media' so liberal media you are 'on notice' for reporting negative stories and anything and everythingthat challenges my world view,
I hear the Liberal MSM apologists cry

"But, we 'the liberal media' - a single monolithic entity, we are just the messengers!"

Well tell me this,
If a tree falls and no-one is around to hear it, did it make a sound?
Now imagine the tree is 'the liberal media'......
get it!
does that actually make sense?
it doesn't matter,
Liberal MSM you are on notice, as soon as you stop reporting things I don't like you'll be off the list.

You're ON NOTICE!!!!

2006-04-05T09:26:00.000+12:00

I was pondering over the lack of activity here and I thought to myself why not use Blogger and all the power 134 unique visits a day gives me to try and make the world a better place.
And why not do it by singling out those who have earned our ire and adding their names to a concise list.

To the right are the recently installed "ON NOTICE" and "DEAD TO ME" boards which take a cue from Scientology and Bill O'Reilly and blatantly plagiarise Stephen Colbert.

Being 'On Notice' on the noticeboard means you need to step off that platform you're on, listen to some sense (that's us) and stop doing whatever you're doing. Hopefully the severity of being placed 'On notice' on will avoid you becoming "DEAD TO ME" (or us) which is the most severe punishment a man or woman could ever suffer (apart from being "non-existent to me" (or us))

Think of it as a burning torch for the blog-lynching of those we have arbiltraily decided to victimise.

Unfortunately for Stephen Colbert shortly after he put ABC News Anchor Bob Woodruff 'On Notice' (for being robot-like) Woodruff became almost dead to everyone in Iraq, as such Stephen hasn't bought out the big boards to name and shame the wrong-doers since.

But fear not Stephen here in what you call "Australia's Canada" there is no killer cyborg called Bob Woodruff so we will keep our small antipodean torch burning for the cause.

Where the fucken hell are youse?

2006-03-29T09:43:00.000+12:00

I've returned from sabbatical to post a link to this nugget of comedy gold - a new version of the 'bloody hell' Tourism Australia commercial - "We've cleared the ethnics off the beach"

Australia - Where the fucken hell are youse?

Orewa IV - The Purge

2006-01-31T10:21:00.000+13:00

Don Brash's final Orewa speech as National leader is on tonight so that means another minority group to blame and another female MP to fire, this year's MP is Pansy Wong so that means this year's punching bag are IMMIGRANTS!

Well, not ALL immigrants - just those who don't share our 'Western values' i.e "them darkie ones that don't respect Jesus or the dollar".

I just don't see how this is a winning strategy for the main opposition party in New Zealand.
His stance is to the left of centre in Australia, but not here.

It's yet another divisive strategy that may garner a 'cheap pop' in the polls but will do more harm to the party in the long-term than good.

It's a big gamble that could see him removed as Oppostion leader far earlier than expected.
For a leader who has never managed to overcome the error of labelling those who vote for his opponent 'not mainstream New Zealanders' this could be the fatal blow.

Yes Mr Brash, tis better to burn out than fade away.

Farrar wins election for Canadian Conservatives

2006-01-19T17:32:00.000+13:00

In Canada, the Conservative Party seems destined to win the upcoming Federal election, which so-called 'experts' have attributed to scandalous corruption and stupid anti-American campaigning on the part of the Canadian Liberals, but the answer is much closer to home than that.
Look at the date where the Conservative upswing began - the same time the New Zealand National Party's own 'Joey Lucas' - and Wellington Central legend David P Farrar abruptly quit the Conservative campaign.
Coincidence? I think not.

Michael Knight's TV Weak

2006-01-19T08:24:00.000+13:00

When I was first co-opted into contributing to this site, it was hoped that I would deliver some insight into the NZ television industry, however the lives and loves and gossip of New Zealand's 'liberal media elite' is far more dull than you could imagine.

However what does excite me in 2006 is the emergence of the internet as the primary distribution method of television shows.
In fact, I'd go as far to say that when TVNZ finally gets around to screening the second series of 'Lost' - the most popular 'pirated' tv show on the net, ratings will be well below expectations (albeit still huge) mainly because of internet 'piracy'

But far better than being able to watch 'Lost' or 'Corrie' ten months in advance of NZ screenings is the ability to view the thousands of wonderful shows that will never see the light of day in this country.

Two of those shows 'Weeds" and the US version of 'The Office" were big winners at the Golden Globes on Tuesday.

'Weeds" is often portrayed as 'Desperate Housewives with drug dealing' but it's closer to the world of American Beauty/Six Feet Under than the soapy crap from Wisteria Lane. The Golden Globe win has secured a second series in the States and maybe even a late night run here at 11pm on TV One on a Sunday if we're lucky.

"The Office" was intially not well recieved by fans of the Ricky Gervais original, but now that the program has developed it's own characters and storylines instead of duplicating their British counterparts word for word, the show is quite fantastic and on occassion betters it's parent show. And of course Steve Carrell is a god.

Also this month, I enjoyed Bill O'Reilly getting his ass handed to him by Letterman recently
Letterman: "I think 60% of what you say is crap" although the next day on his own show O'Reilly proclaimed himself the winner of the interview.

Hopefully with Prime being purchased by Sky we will finally get a 24 hour feed of Fox News in this country because honestly we're missing out big time not being able to watch the comedic genius that is 'The O'Reilly Factor' - Yes, I know, 'The Factor' is not strictly satire, but really if you try to view it for what it is (the American equivalent of Leighton Smith on the highest rating cable news show in the US) it makes you feel kinda empty inside.

This week Bill is focusing all his energy on the U.S state of Vermont becuase the state will not sack a judge who made a decision O'Reilly didn't like, so O'Reilly is now calling on all Americans to boycott the state of Vermont. I'm not quite sure what you're meant to do if you actually live in Vemont but anyway, for those counting, O'Reilly boycotts now apply to Mexico, Canada, France and Vermont.

Still, it's not really bad news for Vermont - after the France boycott started imports of goods from France to the US rose - American goods exported to France fell. And of course Vermont can now advertise itself as a "100% Bill O'Reilly free zone".

On the satrical counterpoint to 'The Factor' - 'The Colbert Report' Stephen Colbert named the Associated Press the #1 threat facing America for not mentioning him in a story about 'truthiness' being named the word of 2005.

...it was similar to the much-criticized weapons of mass destruction reporting leading up to the Iraq War. Except, he said, people got hurt this time.

The NZ television porgrammer who has the balls to bring the one hour block of 'The Daily Show" and "The Colbert Report" to Late Night NZ television will be a very smart woman indeed.

Unusually O'Reilly wasn't even the most outrageous thing I've watched this week, that distinction goes to 'The Root of all evil' a two part polemic from Richard Dawkins about the supposed evils of Abrahamic religions in the world, at one point he compares Moses to Hitler and Saddam Hussein. Dawkins does make a strong if rather arrogant argument for reason over faith, however while he goes around the world on a crusade to disprove the monothestic faiths he never actually offers evidence and proof that a god doesn't exist.

Actually, I was wrong about the Dawkins show being the most outrageous show, a rebuttal to 'The Root of all Evil' 'Dark Enlightenment' fronted by the seemingly insane Michael Burleigh argues that the Enlightenment was in fact a bad thing for humanity and that amongest other things the Nazi genocide inflicted on the Jewish peoples was caused by an absence of faith. As opposed to say centuries of Vatican endorsed Christian persercution of the Jewish people based on warped interpretations of the Bible.

After watching the Dawkins rants I was a little skeptical of his overwhelming self-assuredness about his faith in 'reason' but after seeing a supposedly renowned historian claiming the past two centuries of human progress are bad for humanity - Dawkins' arguments seem entirely reasonable, even moderate.

Considering TV3's C4 is apprehensive about screening an episode of South Park featuring a statue of the Virgin Mary with an anal bleed for fear of offending the Cathoclic Church, I wonder how the Church would feel about "The Root of All Evil' being shown here.

2006 - Year of the Dog

2006-01-17T12:00:00.000+13:00

Well, it's time to emerge from my summer coma, just three days away from my official end of the summer holidays - The Big Day Out - which from the lineup looks like the weakest Big Day Out ever, but I've got free tickets so I can't complain.

I've always maintained that an outright ban should be imposed on local news during the holiday season, and this summer has not changed my mind.

There's Auckland City soldifying it's position as NZ's well-off yet deeply stupid step-sister with the "Oh My God, they're gonna put NATIVE trees in our shitty main street (PC Gone Mad, ya know)" campaign, which has spawned an extraordinary council meeting resulting in 'saving' three gaunt trees from the chop.

Congratulations Auckland, now if you take that passion for protecting upstanding immigrant trees from the filthy Native (read Maori) trees and redirect it into trying to fix the city's problems with traffic, housing, town planning, infastructure and lack of community spirit then perhaps Auckland City would no longer be such a strong challenger to Wanaganui for 'most fucked up city in New Zealand'

Then there's Statistics NZ bucking the tradition of asking fact-based questions with the creation of "New Zealander/Kiwi" as an 'ethnic group' in the 2006 census, so that when I fill out the census form on behalf of my pet dog (a Cook Islander/Samoan/Irish/Australian/Maori/Pakeha who's a smoker and earns 50k a year) I will now have one more box to tick.

The thing that really annoys me is that this is the same Statistics NZ that refused to recognise 'jedi' as a actual religion in 2001 despite over 50,000 persons submitting it as their faith of choice. It was the third most popular faith after Christianity and 'No religion' in 2001 but it was not categorised as jedi was considered "response deemed outside the scope of recognised religions", yet Statistics NZ still recognises Scientology as an legitimate religion.

Still, long time talker, first time writer, Kerre Woodham sums up the feeling of Pakeha, erm... "Kiwi" New Zealanders,

The decision by people to call themselves "New Zealanders", and the decision to allow them to do so, may not be anthropologically accurate. But it's a step towards building a nation that's proud of its heritage and positive about its future.

Exactly! Who are anthropologists to say what is and isn't an ethnic group. I put my trust in callers to Newstalk ZB. It's not as if it's a ethnic group is something that can be defined.
As always with 'racial issues' it is those who do not feel a strong attachment to any particular ethnic group leading the charge to force everyone else to join them as 'one nation' (together under Dagg)

On the subject of mediocre Herald on Sunday columists Deborah Coddington has been on a tear lately, it seems she's trying to carve out a niche as the antipodean Ann Coulter, the bitterness and resentment in her Herald on Sunday rants are approaching legendary status, and yet another reason to fork out $3 a day to APN for it's premium content (or use the search function). This week Deb's ire was set upon the evil blog world, which is so irrelevant, powerless and spiteful that Coddington devoted an entire column of vitirol to it.
Still, thanks to Deborah, at least we now know the truth that Jordan Carter is indeed a souless robot. No wonder Farrar and Blumsky got such a drubbing in Wellington Central when they were up against a humanoid who needs not sleep.

No Rhetoric please, We're New Zealanders

2005-12-09T09:38:00.000+13:00

American Taliban?
So they must be stoning people to death in the streets, amputating dissenters, blowing up non-Christian religious treasures, banning sport, music, film and televison and providing safe haven for terrorist organisations.
No, not quite, A professor got beaten up by a couple of idiots and some Christians wrote to a company complaining about advertising in a gay magazine.

Homophobic bigots?
Oh please, just because one has the belief that a "marriage is between a man and a woman" does not make them a homophobe. Some homosexuals are against gay marriage, does this make them homophobic too? Yes the bill was pointless and ridiculous but just because one has a difference of opinion does not neccessarily make them Fred Phelps or the re-incarnation of the Tailban.

To use such ridiculous rhetoric makes you no better than those you are arguing against.

Up ya nose with a Rubber Hose

2005-12-06T09:32:00.000+13:00

To be honest, I've never had much love for David Benson-Pope, with the nap-time in question-time and of course he has a hypenated surname which as everyone knows is a sure sign of a tyrant.

But seriously, it now looks like Benson-Pope would have been better off if the Police had laid actual charges over the affair. He would have recieved a fair trial in a court of law, as opposed to trial and immediate conviction by the tv and print media and at the very least it would have legally prevented DBP from putting his foot (or tennis ball) in his own mouth with his dismal attempts at trying to manage fallout from the report.

The seemingly endless police report gives the oppostion MPs leading the attacks endless amounts of shit for them to roll around in. I'm sure they'll look back fondly on this day as a high point in the parliamentary careers.

Apart from those with an axe to grind, the general public doesn't give a toss about the whole affair, and this is hardly the sort of thing that is going to give any boost in support for National or ACT. The next time a National MP complains about police "wasting time" doing traffic duty or operating speed cameras all one has to do to is point towards this 1000-page report about supposedly over-zealous corporal punishment that happened 23 years ago.

Benson-Pope will end up having to resign his cabinet post not because of anything Judith Collins or Rodney Hide say, it will be as a direct result of his total incompetence at crisis management.

And sitting quietly in the corner, avoiding any media scrunity is Taito Philip Field who faces allegations that if proven are far worse than anything DBP has supposedly done 23 years ago.
Perhaps Benson-Pope should give him a call for advice on how to shut up.

National MP to cut Education - literally

2005-12-05T13:10:00.000+13:00

Allan Peachey is deep trouble for making a not-so veiled threat in response to a request by the co-principal of Selwyn College for the local MP to make an appearance at the school's annual prizegiving.
Tacked on to the end of the email rejecting the request were the words

Yes, I do have a knife in your back, so be careful

It's easy to see why Peachy holds a grudge against a school so radically different from his Rangitoto College - Selwyn is a 'liberal' school with no school uniform and a strong focus on multi-culturalism and the arts. However in his new role as the MP for Tamaki he is supposed to the electorate's representative and advocate in parliament. Former Tamaki MP Clem Simich would never have shown such contempt for a local school.

This is shocking and childish behaviour, here's hoping Don Brash (also a Tamaki local) can display some leadership for once and strongly censure Peachy for this inappropriate behaviour.

Anyone who values secondary school learning that isn't the "McEducation" Peachey espouses should hope to god that he never becomes Minister of Education.

Norm Hewitt has a dream

2005-12-04T22:22:00.000+13:00

Reformed Thug turned Lap Dancer Norm Hewitt has put the Air New Zealand man v. child seating controversy into the proper context it deserves.

According to big Norm the 'discrimination' men face on airlines is just like that of Black Americans in the 1950s and 60s. Mark Worsley, New Zealand's Rosa Parks apparently.

Before the wails of protest from the 'PC brigade' begin just remember that for centuries New Zealand men have been treated as second class citizens.

After male slavery was abolished nearly 100 years ago, sexual discrimination became regulated by 'Jim Crow' laws, which allowed strict segregation of the sexes under the premise of 'separate but equal'.

Males and Females were forced to use separate schools, theaters, public toilets, bus, airplane and restaurant seating. In some locales, such as Dargaville, it was forbidden for stores or restaurants to serve different genders under the same roof.

Through the use of "Miscegenation" laws men and women were often prevented from legally marrying to prevent 'gender-mixing' - many of these laws still remain in place today. Even now in the 21st Century men often have trouble enrolling to vote due to female officals requiring the often poorly educated men to pass a literacy test before their enrolment is accepted. Due to this and other unsavoury tactics, in some parts of the country the percentage of eligible men enrolled to vote is less than 10%.

The time has come for this discrimination to end, as a NZ male I'm glad our own Martin Luther King Jr. - Norm Hewitt has the courage to stand up and fight to end this injustice once and for all.

Ministry of Silly Voices

2005-11-24T11:07:00.000+13:00

Pious moral outrage is growing at David Cunliffe's mocking of Pansy Wong's use of the English language.

(Interesting fact - in Cantonese 'Pansy Wong' means 'token deadweight').

Apparently mocking Ms. Wong's voice is "racism", sure, it's rude and disrespectful but it's not racist. Or did I miss the memo where the defintion of rascism was changed to "making fun of any characteristic of a non-white person"
Perhaps I'm going on a limb here but she does actually have an accent that can often make it very difficult to understand what she is actually saying.

(Interesting fact #2 - David Lange commenting on a bungy jump made by Wong from Auckland's Skytower - "Why did they tie a rope to her?")

Making fun of the way people speak is a wonderful tradition in New Zealand politics, I remember fondly when Jim Bolger would impersonate the accent of foreign leaders. And who can forget John 'Hone' Carter's calls to talkback radio, they were good times.

I want consistency from our representatives, not only accent, but all personal traits of MPs should be up for mockery in the house - be it George Hawkins' stuttering, Margaret 'Hopalong' Wilson's gait or Gerry Brownlee's rolls of chubby fat. My dream is that one day we shall have a NZ where everyone is mocked in a cruel and unfair manner equally.

Buried Agenda

2005-11-22T09:00:00.000+13:00

TVNZ has all but killed off it's sole remaining current affairs show with the announcement that One Owen will take over presenting duties from Simon Dallow next year. This pretty much confirms Dallow will be the new 'mother of the nation' and read the 6pm news in '06. From what we've seen of Lisa Owen's time as European correspondent the past two years, it's safe to say you won't be missing any hard-hitting interviews by sleeping in on Saturday mornings.

Herald's journalism shitty, says blog

2005-11-21T09:38:00.000+13:00

Let's all jump aboard the Bash Winston Train!
It's the Magical Diversion Tour!
Lefties, Righties, it don't matter- we're in this together!
Screw context! Balance and fairness can go and take a flying leap,
Sure, if we'd taken a quote out of context from Clark or Brash, twisted it and then splashed it triumphantly over the front page, they'd be screaming "Liberal/Conservative Media Bias!" from the top of the hills.
But this is totally different, it's Winston Peters and he must pay for disrespecting 'da family'.
Who really wants to hear about Clark barely holding together a workable Government or Brash's imminent leadership challenge from John Key anyway?

Herald Premium Discontent

2005-11-18T15:13:00.000+13:00

If you hadn't already noticed, both the blogspot and livejournal versions of the Herald Premium Content blog have been vapourised.
To my knowlege that LJ blog had only been up a couple of days.
LiveJournal are far more efficient than those liberal West-Coast slackers at Google. If I was planning on doing a Stalinst purge of history, the kids from LJ would be top of my list to call.

Anyway....
I just recieved an interesting email

Hey Nick,
Just thought I'd let you know blogger has been forced to delete the hpc blog, details of the DMCA C+D order will be here when available, however a new blog is located at http://nzhpremiumcontent.blogspot.com/
Make sure you inform both your readers about this ;p

Cheers,
[name deleted]

Rugby World Mea Culpa

2005-11-18T07:12:00.000+13:00

Now I loathe Rugby Union as much as the next PM, but the awarding of the 2011 World Cup to New Zealand is a great thing for the country.
I'll be glad to watch those negative assholes in various media who yesterday were being so dismissive and even mocking of Helen Clark and NZ's chances - John Campbell, Paul Henry and various print journalists now being forced to eat their own negative bullshit.
Of course, they'll pretend that all along that they believed it could happen. That's the thing that makes me cringe about the New Zealand psyche, we are so keen to view ourselves in a negative light when there is no need to do so. After all, being negative about New Zealand is Australia's job.

Who needs elections?

2005-11-16T22:49:00.000+13:00

This renewed call from Treasury to cut taxes is a little out of date don't ya think?
Didn't we just have an election a couple of months ago centred on this very issue?
Team Tax Cut lost. Get over it.

Out of Dontext

2005-11-12T09:27:00.000+13:00

Why out of all the possible shots of Don Brash at Rod Donald's funeral did TV3 (media player link) chose this one? Every other politician was portrayed in a manner one would expect to see at a funeral, Helen was crying, others siting there solemnly heads in hands. Yet Don Brash gets a shot taken out of context implying that he was glad Rod Donald was being buried today.
You may or may not agree with everything Don Brash says but (unlike Peter Dunne) he is a decent man and this choice of shot was most unfair.

Get Well Soon Susan!

2005-11-11T15:47:00.000+13:00

Dear Susan Wood,

I was shocked to hear that you have been struck down with an unknown dehabilitating illness right in the middle of tense employment negotiations.
Imagine the luck! Getting sick just as contract talks with your employer reached an impasse!
Still, you got good lawyers, I'm sure whoever caused this illness will pay the price.
I'm sure it's right to say the thoughts and prayers of all New Zealanders are with you tonight, as you recover from this mystery illness. I hope to God it's not avian flu.
Praying for your swift recovery,
Yours sincerely,
Michael Knight

Capital Pain Tax

2005-11-11T07:44:00.000+13:00

The Real Estate mafioso has recoiled in horror at the suggestion of a Capital Gains tax on second homes. Those who have massive self-interest in the house price insanity continuing like the Banks and the Real Estate institute have called the idea 'insane' and some have even suggested the Government should instead cut spending in health and education to cool off the economy.
But really?
Does the economy have to be held to ransom because lemmings in middle New Zealand think buying a 7th home on 100% finance is a good idea?
Should we really have to choke off 'good' economic growth instead of targeting the problem area? Why bring out the sledgehammer of interest rate rises when a targeted knock on an inflated housing market could produce the same end-result - lower inflation without collateral damage to the entire economy.

APN Tear down this wall!

2005-11-09T10:57:00.000+13:00

Shortly after the election the New Zealand Herald introduced a subscription service, making site searches and regular columnists into "premium content" demanding a fee of $3 a day for usage. The NZ Blog clique is up in arms over this and it's got to the point where 13 Herald Writers and Kerre Woodham posted a protest letter on Public Address decrying their non-existent pay rise (as opposed to say, bloggers) and lack of reader feedback because of the "paywall". (or as right-wingers like to call it, a payfence)
Now I cannot see why anyone would ever want to pay $3 to read anything by Kerre Woodham, but who am I to judge. And it all seems very silly considering the paywall can be easily avoided with a greasemonkey script and the firefox browser.

However many people for whatever reason cannot use it or link to it, fortunately some altruistic soul (not I) is using their $99 subscription for good and has set up a Herald Premium content blog.

Gerry Brownlee: Sore Loser or Whinging Bitch?

2005-11-08T12:58:00.000+13:00

National's deputy says he has "lost respect" for the Governor General and claims she is a "cohort" of Helen Clark.
Why?
Because -shock horror- she perfomed her constitutional duties to the letter of the law.
And yet if she had behaved unconstitutionally in the fashion Mr Brownlee wanted, it would, as he himself admits - "have made no difference to the outcome"
So what is the point of this attack?
Apparently Gerry Brownlee has decided it is time for a review NZ's constitutional arrangments - even though Gerry Brownlee said in August that constitutional reviews are a "waste of time".

It is a fairly serious (and slightly crazy) allegation to imply that the Govenor General is enagaged in some sort of collusional activity with the Prime Minister. Allegations of this sort should not be made lightly by Members of Parliament.
Crazy and defamatory allegations are what blogs are for.

Top 10 Presenting roles for Susan Wood

2005-11-08T08:40:00.000+13:00

TVNZ is in a real bind, they can't sack Susan Wood, yet they already have former National party candidate Paul Henry lined up to take over CloseUp@7, so what to do with the highly paid Ms Wood and her fat contract? Move her on to another show!
Here's the Top 10 contenders -

1) Deadwood
2) Intrepid Journeys: Fallujah
3) NZ's Worst Drunk Drivers
4) Dancing with the Recently Paroled
5) Marc & Toddy's Rocky Road to Indonesia
6) Susan & Kevin : Chaotic
7) So you wanna be a P Dealer?
8) Convict Treasure Island
9) Supernanny
10) The Ralston Grope

Jesus Rules the House

2005-11-07T22:25:00.000+13:00

One of the few items of interest of the commision opening of parliament is the choice of members to swear on the bible or koran or merely state an affirmation. Thus we are able to ascertain who is winning the power struggle between god fearing worship and godless paganism in our house of representatives.
And so the parliamentaty deity of choice for the 2005 term will be......

Jesus Christ!!

Triumphing again over paganism by 70-47 and keeping his unbeaten streak intact. This despite losing a couple of votes because two MPs (Pansy Wong & Jim Sutton) were too scared to turn up to the first day of school without a parent to hold their hand.

Interestingly there was a 4-1 split in favour of paganism amongst openly gay MPs yet amongst closeted gay MPs Jesus has a 3-1 majority.

Rod Donald 1957-2005

2005-11-07T11:08:00.000+13:00

Why? Why? Why?
A healthy guy in the prime of his life, who had helped to change the political landscape for the better and just 1200-odd votes and a couple of days away from being in a position to implement the ideas he cared deeply about.
Life can be so cruel and unjust.

Holiday in Cambodia

2005-11-07T10:43:00.000+13:00

Contrary to the obvious lack of postage for six weeks, this blog is not dead.
I've actually been on holiday, though not in Cambodia, Laos actually, Holiday in Laos doesn't seem as catchy a title.
The trip was great by the way. Nothing says overly earnest white liberal like a trip to remote parts of SE Asia.

As expected, my fellow contributors have posted exactly zero content to this site in my absence. Time to bring in some new blood I think.

This much I don't Know

2005-09-22T00:04:00.000+12:00

If Nandor Tanczos doesn't make it in to parliament on special votes who will be Attorney-General?

Why is it when Epsom voters practice vote-splitting it's because "they are a well-educated politically savvy electorate" but when Maori voters do the same thing it's "revealing a divided electorate sending a strong message to the Labour government"?

Has there ever been a man more triumphant after losing 80% of his party vote than Rodney Hide?

Has there ever been a party leader who hasn't been sacked after losing 80% of the party vote?

For a man that is so vocally anti-methamphetamine why is Peter Dunne behaving like he smokes it?

Is there a sexier leadership ticket than John Key/Katherine Rich anywhere in the world?

In the interests of "democracy" and "one-law-for-all" will the electorates of Epsom, Wigram and Ohariu-Belmont be abolished?

Apart from the usual suspects isn't it great that after such a close election result nobody is suggesting "voter fraud"?

Greenophobia

2005-09-19T02:04:00.000+12:00

I feel a tad sorry for the Green Party, after dutifully serving as the canary in the mine for Labour for much of this election campaign, reality suggests they could be shut out of government altogether to placate NZ First or United. Although depending on how the special votes fall that could change.
Consequently at this stage no party has ruled out working with anyone, except Peter Dunne who seems to have a chronic case of greenophobia and fails to realise he has only 3 seats as opposed to Winston's 7. To rule out supporting a government that involves the Greens before negotiations have even started is foolish, working with the Greens may not be practical but to rule them out this early weakens United Future's position considerably. Even the Maori Party haven't ruled out the idea of supporting National even though that is as likely as Bob the Bumbler Clarkson being the next Governor-General.

Hello Pot Meet Mr Kettle

2005-09-18T14:27:00.000+12:00

Rupert Murdoch says Tony Blair complained to him about supposed 'biased' coverage of the Katrina disaster by the BBC.
What the hell?
You're bitching about 'slanted' media coverage to the guy that is responsible for Fox News??
Bill Clinton also backed Blair's claim saying the coverage was "stacked up" against Bush Jr. Perhaps the fact Dubya chose to stay on holiday while a major city sank into chaos may have been responsible for that 'slant', even presenters from Fox News were savaging him after the hurricane hit.
In related Clinton news what is he really thinking in this picture?
Our guess - "I wonder if my dick fits in her ear"

The Politics of Hate

2005-09-15T21:16:00.000+12:00

If there's a prevalent smell in this election campaign it's been the stench of hate and envy, but with so many different people to hate things can easily get confusing. Well, threepointurn has the solution for the haters among us -
Our easy to follow "hate and vote" card - simply find the societal grouping that you blame most for NZ's problems then vote for the party that we've picked as doing the best job of "hating on" that group. We suggest printing the card out to take with you on polling day if you happen to suffer sudden memory loss.

For Whom the Ball Tolls

2005-09-15T11:12:00.000+12:00

I didn't realise that when Don Brash suggested the addition of a 'pakeha' element to powhiri, "a pale-skinned semi-naked male poking his tongue out - leaping around in mock battle" that this is what he meant.

Florida '00 = Tauranga '05 ??

2005-09-14T12:15:00.000+12:00

A Nation enjoys strong economic growth after two terms of a centre-left 'third-way' administration. In a strongly partisan election a strong challenger emerges from the right, a 'CEO-Politician' renowned for making political blunders and not having the best relationship with the spoken word. In one of the closest elections in living memory, the party of the right recieves less votes but wins the race and it all comes down to the disputed results in a region popular for it's sunshine and retirement living.

Or to put it simply -

Indecision 2005 - The Clusterfuck Scenario

Winston Peters loses Tauranga, NZ First gets 4.9%. Labour/Green - National/United evenly split the vote.
Legal proceedings over Bob Clarkson's campaign expenses begin, proceeding all the way to the Supreme Court.
The country waits for Winston yet again...

Just putting it out there....

Bob the Fondler

2005-09-14T01:42:00.000+12:00

For anyone who's met Bob Clarkson, the "sexual harrassment" allegations are easy to believe, whether the harrassment was blokish stupidity or a hint of something more sinister is another story. But really, grabbing your crotch in the direction of a female TV3 journalist isn't likely to help your case.
I doubt the claims will harm Clarkson's chances this late in the piece but it's yet another example of why National trails Labour by over 10% amongst women. Mr Clarkson should prove be a strong challenger to Brian Connell for the title of craziest Tory MP in the upcoming parliament.

RetardedmediabeatupGate

2005-09-12T00:32:00.000+12:00

Is it over yet?
Less than a week out from a supposed cliffhanger election and it's gone cold on me.
In fact I'm so sick of this crap I think I'm going to endorse Winston Peters.
He's a man after my own heart, his vision for the next three years is to sit at the back of parliament, make wisecracks and give Margaret Wilson shit. Sure, 90% of his policies are morally repugnant to me, but I'm willing to ignore that minor inconsistency and throw my support behind the man of the people.

Take RetardedmediabeatupGate, National supporters who think speeding on a South Island highway is a capital offence tied themselves up in knots claiming Brash's credibility was intact, on the other side Labour supporters demonstrated 'a more tolerant New Zealand' does not stretch to religions whose members are percieved to be a homogenous group of National supporters.

And yet Winston Peters was the only one to raise the question the non-hysterical among us wanted answered - Why the hell would you take the time in a busy schedule to encourage support from people who don't even vote?
The man of the people still has a few rounds left in him.

And quite frankly, why the fuck are these "family values" organisations lining up to support National?
I would never describe the National Party as a beacon of "traditional family values", it (like Labour) is a party populated by drunks, serial adulterers, sodomites and womanisers. Don Brash voted for prostitution law reform and voted for the civil union bill before voting against it.
I guess "taxcuts" is what Jesus would do.

Polland

2005-09-08T00:12:00.000+12:00

Within the space of a few days, two supposedly reputable polls are showing radically different results.
Apparently it's because of a "volatile" electorate. I could be thinking a little outside the bubble here, but maybe the problem isn't "volatile" voters but the polls themselves. A popular technique among pollsters currently is to press undecideds into stating a preference and then counting it as firm support. Accompanying questions about "racist" policies or "talking down to people" could also taint the results.

In fact I would say that our own "Meaningless and Arbitrary Seat Predictor" does a better job of reflecting the changes in the public mood than any of the "scientific" polls, despite the fact our numbers are completely made up.
Maybe in light of these polls NZ's news organisations will stop wasting so much time and effort over-analysing polls and focus more on covering actual issues...
Fat Chance

They're Back

2005-09-07T23:43:00.000+12:00

After a week and a day's holiday, The Daily Show is back with one of the best shows of the year.
Jon Stewart in fine form - Hurricane Katrina is Bush's Monica Lewinsky, except for one difference - "tens of thousands of people weren't stranded in Monica Lewinsky's vagina".

Release the Hounds!

2005-09-07T11:09:00.000+12:00

I enjoy vandalising election hoardings as much as the next guy, but isn't issuing a press release about it a little over the top?
I always thought Don Brash was more Smithers than Burns anyway.

What's wrong with Huntly?

2005-09-01T09:57:00.000+12:00

You sick fucks
I hope whoever did this rots in hell.

And so it began...

2005-08-31T21:56:00.000+12:00

And so begins the Iraqi civil war....
Sickening.

Analogy of Idoicy

2005-08-31T21:23:00.000+12:00

Trying my best not to sound callous in the face of human despair, but can we please stop with the "Our Tsunami" analogy over the Hurricane Katrina disaster. It's disrepectful not only to the thousands of South-East Asians who were killed last Boxing Day but also to the thousands of Americans suffering right now.
The appalling traegdy and despair we're seeing right now is obvious enough to make analogies like this totally redundant.
So how about instead of "Our Tsunami" it be called "Our Hurricane Katrina".

Strategic Voting?

2005-08-30T21:45:00.000+12:00

'Strategic' voting is creating some strange and contradictory bedfellows.
Known communists Che Tibby and NRT suggest to 'left' voters in Tauranga that in an attempt to unseat Winston Peters they should vote for National candidate Bob Clarkson. This is the same Bob Clarkson who says
"A family is a male, a female and a couple of children. You can do in your own home whatever you want - doesn't worry me two hoots - but don't you come into society and tell me that [homosexuality] is normal" which we can only assume is Clarkson's 'polite' way of saying
"You homos do what you like at home, but don't expect to be treated as equals in society"
Yet earlier this year NRT said 'left' voters should vote against Labour MP Phillip Taito Field because of his opposition to the Civil Unions Bill.
Confused?
I certainly am.

Lazy Journalism Tale #3683

2005-08-28T09:32:00.000+12:00

"Tax cuts put Nats back in the lead" yet the poll result has Labour ahead by one point.
As the Herald has already shown, splitting the sample of a poll to get the results you want is so very wrong and misleading.
Please stop doing it.
Thanks.

Marc E

2005-08-26T18:31:00.000+12:00

Hurrah!
Even though this site has shown little respect for name suppression laws in the past we are overjoyed that we can now legally say Marc Ellis is a "celebrity drug fiend"
We also note that he will now be referred to as 'Marc E" for the rest of his life.
It's been especially ironic seeing journalists discussing and reporting these events who I know for a fact enjoy a bit of recreational drug use themselves from time to time, some of them probably even scored off the same guy as Marc E.
This could end up being a watershed day for NZ television, a drug-bust that leads to the implosion of the NZ operations of the hated Touchdown TV,
or it could be that Marc E has just booked his appearence on Dancing with the Stars 2 years from now.

Lazy Journalism Tale #3682

2005-08-26T14:09:00.000+12:00

The headline for the online story about the new Herald-Digipoll is "National and Greens gain support", except (as usual) that is not true. From the previous Herald-Digipoll National is actually down 2 points. And even if you go by the Herald's statistically fraudulent method of splitting the sample and look at the "'post-tax cut announcement" portion of the sample only, National remains unchanged at 38% from the previous poll.
How is this a "gain" in support?

Braindead is an Understatement

2005-08-26T13:17:00.000+12:00

After universal condemnation of the obnoxious and loud audience in the TVNZ "debate", the state broadcaster has responded by increasing the number of partisan idiots sitting in on the final leaders debate from 40 to 56.
The only time I want to see those mindless partisan idiots on primetime tv again is with Marc Ellis as part of a Touchdown reality show where the losers are put to death.

Poor Act

2005-08-25T11:28:00.000+12:00

I think's it's endemic of ACT's problems that after Rodney Hide's Face to Face interview the sole piece of viewer feedback that was read out was from a gentleman who claimed that Rodney's interview had convinced him to vote ACT.
The gentleman's name - Nick Kearney conincidentally happens to be the ACT candidate for Te Atatu and #51 on the ACT list.

Fix the Debates, Please!

2005-08-24T08:58:00.000+12:00

If anything comes from the debacle that was the TVNZ leaders debate it should be the realisation that NZ needs something similar to the Commission on Presidential Debates used in the US.
If you don't agree, look at what we've had so far, this year's crop of debates have been somewhat farcical, all operating under radically different conditions and expectations.
TV3's multi-party debate was set the furthest from the election date which ensured it was of the least benefit for coverage-starved smaller parties, the Dunne-Anderton court ordered appearence was an absolute joke. TV3 have brought upon themselves a dangerous judicial precedent but for which TV3 only have themselves to blame. And I haven't even mentioned the frickin' worm.
And did anyone under 40 actually listen to the National radio debate at 7pm on a Friday? Of course the debate is not available online because that would be, well, you know, convenient. But then this is the same public broadcaster whose staff care so much about the public's right to know that they strike in the middle of an election campaign. For both the people that listened, the RNZ debate was scarred by the same noisy partisan cretins that ruined the TVNZ debate.

An independent commission comprised of representatives of the parties, major broadcasters and the voting public could decide frequency and format of the debates, along with the rules and conditions of entry. Each debate could be hosted by a different anchor from TVNZ, TV3 and Radio NZ or even Paul Holmes (just kidding). Every tv and radio station would be free to carry the feed, then we won't have the silly situation where TV3 news pretends the TVNZ debates don't exist and vice versa.
An independent debates commssion with a clearly defined role and based around serving the public interest would allow the voting public to be better informed and increase accessibility for the public good. This is the reason it will never happen. Ratings are far more important.

One news Duh-bate

2005-08-23T09:39:00.000+12:00

What a weird debate that was, One Sainsbury seeemed a little out of his depth trying to control the leaders and just let them riff on whatever they wanted. The bizarre debate format allowed Helen to completely talk over the top of the timid Don and although Helen Clark was indeed wearing a oversized Kit-Kat, by any objective analysis Don was crushed, so much so that he may have gained support on sympathy alone.
Though the Don does have a killer excuse as nicely paraphased by frogblog "I would have been more robust had Clark been a man. Because she was a woman, I decided to go softly on her".
And this guy wants to be PM? What would happen in discussions with another nation that has a female leader or foreign affairs minister, would he sell NZ down the river because he doesn't want to upset a "fragile" woman with open and robust debate?
Don Brash is obviously working hard on building that bridge to the 19th Century.

But seriously, whose idea was it to bring in idiot party hacks and put them in the crowd? I don't think hearing "rabble, rabble, rabble" whenever someone spoke added anything to the debate.
Although, I admit my interest was raised by the cute bespectacled National Party woman in the crowd who would wear her glasses in one segment then remove them for the next.
I vote glasses on, girl, it makes you look smarter.

GTA - Waste of time 2 (Electric Boogaloo)

2005-08-21T19:07:00.000+12:00

New Zealand's censors have finished re-rating videogame GTA - San Andreas, prompted by the discovery of a modification to the game which enabled 'hidden sex scenes'.
The modified version of the game will now bear the rating R18 with the descriptive note ‘contains violence, offensive language and sex scenes’.
The rating of the unmodified game (that being every single copy of the game legally offered for sale) is unchanged. As the censor's own press release acknowleges it is in violation of the game's licencing and end user agreement to sell a 'modified' version of the game with the sex scenes enabled.
Yes, our Censors have spent time and money re-rating a game it is illegal to sell.
Well, I guess if a business decides to sell the game and is sued into obilivon by the game's publishers at least they will have been using the correct classification sticker.
Thank you Office of Film and Literature Classification, you win this month's "Mindless bureacracy at work" award.

Game of Two Half Ounces

2005-08-21T11:01:00.000+12:00

Crappy 'celebrity' quiz show Game of Two Halves will be must-watch televison tomorrow night, if this story is correct.

8 Simple Rules

2005-08-20T14:06:00.000+12:00

I really don't know what to make of National's bizarre TV ad campaign.
Don Brash and the National strategists are either extremely naive or electioneering savants.
Or maybe National's secret plan is that by making Brash look so inept, John Key will appear that much better when he finally takes over the leadership.

In the opening address (direct link) Don Brash (live from his round-windowed home in Hobbiton) seemed more concerned about defending himself from Labour's attacks than talking about what he and his party want to achieve. For god's sake, if you're going to do the "fake interview" style of advertising give a straight answer! You are writing the thing after all. The worst example being the answer to the question "Can we trust you?" instead of saying "Yes, you can trust me, This is why..." he answered with a 60 second blurb about Helen Clark's supposed untrustworthiness instead of directly answering the question about Don Brash.

But we are not heartless and we feel some sympathy for this piss-poor campaign so here are 8 simple rules for Don Brash to help him lift his game.

1) Give straight answers, especially to your own questions. Don't waffle.
2) Do not add qualifiers to your soundbites. Nuanced statements do not work in election campaigning. Ask John Kerry.
3) Talk about yourself and how awesome you are, not your opponent. Do not mention your opponent by name.
4) Don't get 'cute'. "Prime Moneywaster" is well past it's use-by date as is the anecdote about washing your socks.
5) This is a bad camera angle, do not use it.
6) Talk about the future, not the past.
7) Avoid negativity as that makes you sound bitter. Be positive whenever possible.
8) No matter what the context never ever utter the words "don't vote for me" in the very first line of your speech.

Ad Nauseum

2005-08-17T22:09:00.000+12:00

In case you weren't already aware, election campaign advertisments started tonight, and in a major interweb scoop threepointturn has acquired advance copies of the 30 second campaign ads of all the major political parties. As a public service to both of our loyal readers we are making copies of these advertisments available online over the next few days.
To begin here are two leaked commercials for the big boys, Labour and National. (in swf format)
(also available in wmv format here and here although the webserver seems to cut a few seconds from the start for some reason)

A Simple Request

2005-08-17T01:29:00.000+12:00

I don't know if it's expecting too much from humanity but could we at least have the decency to wait until the guy's body is in the ground before pissing on his grave.

As says Swearengen in Deadwood "Act civilised, even if you ain't"

Lazy Journalism Tale #3681

2005-08-14T17:51:00.000+12:00

In the Herald On Sunday, a headline claims "Greens wilting in new poll" so by the common definition of "wilting" (to feel or exhibit the effects of fatigue or exhaustion; weaken markedly) one would expect their poll rating to have dropped markedly or be in severe decline.
Er, not quite, this is the Herald on Sunday so the opposite is true, the Greens actually went up from 3.2% in the last Herald-Digipoll to 4% today. So that's actually an increase of 25%.
In fact, no party other than Labour had a larger increase in party support from the last Digipoll than the Green Party.
Insert trite statement about "lazy journalism" here.

Tale of the Tapeworm

2005-08-12T06:17:00.000+12:00

It's official, the 'worm' sucks. Any device which favours the vague hypocritical middle-ground Peter Dunne occupies has to be fundamantally flawed, as such we have re-christened the 'worm' the 'retardometer' due to the effect it has on debate over actual issues.
Our uninformed leader by leader analysis follows.

Peter Dunne
The court decision forcing Dunne into the debate could end up being crucial to the future of United. Peter Dunne again benefited the most from the decision to include the retardometer in the debates. The media decides - based on a positive knee-jerk reaction from a small sample group that he 'connects' with the undecided voters, which in turn means more media coverage for the party and so it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Nevermind that all he says is meaningless bollocks.
"I want to see every child by the age of 10 to have basic literacy, numeracy and mind changing skills."
What the fuck is a mind changing skill?
Is it like a jedi mind trick? flip-flopping? something to do with Harry Potter?
4/5

Jeanette Fitzsimmons
The audience loved Fitzsimmons, and really how could you be mean towards her? She's just so fluffy and nice. The anti-Rodney Hide. Oddly, her success with the retardometer came with statements about actual policy rather than the meaningless platitudes. A Statement such as "Progress is more than just about making money" sets the Greens apart from the other parties and resonates with a considerable number of undecided voters, whether they come out to vote is another story. And extra points for not bringing up GE.
4/5

Helen Clark
A popular and competent performance, she didn't work any harder than she had to. It seems as if she was keeping a bit of ammo in reserve for the one on one debate with Brash. Gave the impression to voters that she knows more about National's own policies than Don Brash. Brash then proved it beyond doubt which drew potential heat from the minor parties away from her.
4/5

Winston Peters
Dubya had a bit of an off-night, slightly hungover perhaps? Still pisses all over Brash at playing opposition leader. Managed to land a few zingers on Hide and Brash but didn't really get to riff much on bashing immigrants and when he did the retardometer didn't give him much rub, though I suspect his appeal to the undecided television viewers would be stronger than the studio audience.
That alternate universe where Winston Peters is leading the National Party to a third successive victory must be quite a strange place.
3/5

Rodney Hide
He was just 'there', not overly offensive, none too interesting either. He did the best that could be expected of him and may have inspired some right-National voters to reconsider ACT as a viable option. The problem is he just doesn't seem to be able to connect with lower-income voters like Richard Prebble could. Rightly or wrongly, short angry white guy doesn't play well with the undecided voter.
3/5

Don Brash
For a debut performance by a first-term MP he wasn't too bad, pity that is nowhere near good enough for the leader of the main opposition party. Without the readily apparent leadership skills he needed to fall back on policy, unfortunately much of that hasn't been released yet, which leaves him up shit creek without a waka let alone a paddle. He seemed more concerned with giving watertight nuanced answers than delivering clear decisive statements of intent. If the National party campaign really is being "directed from Washington" it must the Democratic party doing it.
2/5

Tariana Turia
Biggest mistake was being a Maori woman concerned about Maori issues, the retardometer punished her for it, no matter what she said. Hurrah for racism.
1/5

Jim Anderton
Made me want to smoke P and hold-up the local Kiwibank. Court action needs to be taken to ban him from future debates.
0/5