Thursday, May 05, 2005

Doing it for the Kids

The positively redundant Ministry of Youth Development as part of 'Youth Week 2005' have issued a 'guide to youth language', and from looking at the list of terms this is clearly the language that any socially confused twelve year old would use. Ironically "Shattering negative stereotypes" is the theme of Youth Week, which I suppose must mean that NZ children talking like guttural street urchins is a positive stereotype.
Their guide doesnt even make sense anyway , the definitions are all wrong and lack the proper context, however, we have acquired the original version of the guide before it was all skuxed up by the Ministry.

PhraseMeaning
AightNew title replacing 'Minister' of Youth Affairs. Steve Maharey will now be referred to as "his Right Honorable Aightness of Youth Affairs" or alternatively "the Aight for the youff"
Bay, bro, cuzI am John Carter or Lindsay Perigo
Bling blingDon Brash's 'pet name' for Katherine Rich
BreakingThe final year of a junior coalition party's term in Government
ChurTo cheer for an opponent surreptiously e.g. "Muriel Newman is really churring for John Tamihere"
DeejayingTo spin bad press at such high speed that one ignores reality e.g. "Despite the drop in student allowance numbers Labour is working for students"
Diss’To urinate in a hotel corridor - e.g "I was so drunk I could barely stand, I had to diss up against the wall"
Dope, gravy, mint, wickedGreen Party Law and Order Policy
EmceeingMichael Cullen delivering a trite one-liner in parliament
Fo’ shizzle ma nizzleFormer Saddam-era Iraqi Minister found in New Zealand after having his name revealed by Winston Peters
Ginga, morangeLockwood Smith's original hair colour
HellaThe Prime Minister of New Zealand
Hook upTo fraternise with the media over a topical issue, usually initated by "hollering" to the press with a "shout-out" or "press release"
JokesEquivalent of “just kidding”. Often used to avoid taking responsibility - e.g. Monday - "I have full confidence in the Police and the 111 service" Tuesday - "Jokes!"
KewlContact Energy's new 'cleaner sounding' brandname for coal
Klingon, blenderAn outsider or parasite who does not belong to a certain social cluster and attempts to live off its' host without being noticed e.g. Jim Anderton
LatersPaul Holmes
MehExpression of indifference used by Labour Maori MPs in reaction to Foreshore and Seabed Legislation. e.g. "Why are you voting for a law that 80% of the people who voted for you oppose?" " umm, err, meh?"
Moked, ownedBeing forcibly removed from one's own party, e.g "ACT legally moked Donna Awatere-Huata" "JT nearly got owned"
PeepsGraham Capill's future cellmate
PhatThe new 'Butch'
Phat-phreeNZ First's token faux-Asian candidate
PlayerSomeone involved with many people and “playing the scene” e.g. Jonathan Hunt
SkuxTo perform poorly in a Ministerial role without actually performing at all e.g. "George Hawkins skuxed up again"
Trippin’An Investigate interview subject
True datThe next target in Jim Anderton's press-release based 'war on soft drugs and alcohol that tastes like ice cream'
WackTo use Trevor Mallard as a blunt weapon with intent to injure

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

"SILO RUNNING" feedbag:

Hoof in Mouth crisis flares up in rotund area of Murray Hill!

Is is recommended that Murray Hill confront this public health crisis and take his hooves out of his mouth, so he can continue to mindlessly meander along the lower Hutt – grazing voraciously on whatever rotten trash the Neocons leave in his pasture.

Also, more exercise is certainly in order to contain this burgeoning bovine, so as to avoid a “Life of Brian” (Monty Python) cinematic “copycat” incident.

Murray Hill could be shipped for an exercise regimen to his bloody disaster “Iraq” (the “Cakewalk” country – as termed by Perle, Wolfowitz, Ledeen, Rumsfeld), so he can do “Silent Running” from bakery to kabob place, while attempting to avoid enraged citizens (because their living conditions have drastically & tragically deteriorated) and also dodging Mossad-planted agent provocateurs and their “divide & conquer” staged terror strategy (otherwise known as “Rent-a-Patsy").

I hope Murray Hill will send us a postcard from his “Silent Running” meets Reality trip. Another benefit of physical exercise (and proper diet) is that it should alleviate Murray Hill’s knee-jerk syndrome, while increasing his intellectual capacity (which is oblivious to facts & reasoning apparently due to cholesterol-clogged arteries leading to the brain).

Sadly, Murray's festering Foot in Mouth disease has caused him to drool foul-mouthed epithets into his keyboard at "Silent Running" blog.

Hey, any National Party members who might be “in bed” with the Necons' agenda, listen up....and learn:
U.S. citizens are fed up with HAVING OUR MILITARY TROOPS, NATIONAL GUARD & RESERVE FORCES (who mostly come from lower-middle income/poor, minority & rural families -- SUBJECTED TO "STOP LOSS" SLAVERY policies which violate their term of service contracts!), and U.S. taxpayers are fed up with being ripped off (and having the U.S. Treasury looted) by egregiously corrupt, ethnocentric, incompetent Neocon fools and their war-profiteering, “blank check” corporate cronies -- along with their international drug-smuggling, money laundering mercenaries & spies, passport fraudsters, "black ops./false flag" inside jobbers, and torture mongers.

see websites:
xymphora.blogspot.com
cryptogon.com
rawstory.com


 

Posted by Gabriel

Anonymous said...

Are you the NIck Eynon formerly of television? 

Posted by t selwyn

Anonymous said...

LMFAO...

You da man Nick (lol)... 

Posted by deuce-x-machina

Anonymous said...

any more postings going to happen? 

Posted by Anonymous